Own a “large” “plus” sized truck or van? Do you drive around parking lots looking for just the right spot until you find a space long enough to fit? Knowing in your heart of hearts that it takes a fraction of a second for someone to drive by and smack, scratch, dent or ding ya? Don’t you feel justified taking 2 spaces by parking on a diagnal as a preemptive strike, a warning rather, to leave you alone? Or better yet, parking accross several spaces so no one else can get anywhere near your wheels? A very aggressive posture indeed.

Just my luck to park my high top van in an ALMOST empty strip mall lot (on a diagnal, in the farthest row, taking 2 spaces so I can avoid being rear ended and pull out safely in one simple step). After a quick errand, I discover the lot filled to capacity with passenger cars, vans and the occasional commercial vehicle. No problem, I think, I parked on a diagnal. I’ll pull out and drive away. NO SUCH LUCK! In zips a small car behind me. I can’t turn my wheels sufficiently to clear him. He sprints accross the lot to one of several restaurants before I can get his attention. “Okay” I say to myself. I can pull forward and maneuver my almost 20 ft. long van as fast as you can say “Nobody panick”! Wouldn’t you know it, Mr. I-Think-I-Own-The-Road pulls halfway into the empty space in front of me, refusing numerous polite requests to let me turn my wheels to get out of his way. He has no part of it. STAND OFF IN BACK ROW. I turn off my engine. He rolls down his window, screaming, hurling insults. Fifteen minutes go by. He pulls his blue car in so close that we’re almost touching. Standing on a stretch of sidewalk, at the safest distance he can, Mr. I-Think-I-Own-The-Road continues his tirade, then marches off. This plays out like a scene from prime time TV.

Eight micro maneuvers later, I back out successfully. I leave without incident…but not before taking a picture of the MR in his car, being his obnoxious self.

copyright 2014


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